The following article is a guest post for Emsee by our long-time community member and contributor Gina Mitchell. Gina is the the founder and CEO of Midlife Coaching for Women and best-selling author who helps women thrive through menopause and midlife, drawing on her 35+ years of experience as a scientist and educator.
Menopause: The Turning Point
Menopause is more than hot flushes and disrupted sleep. It can be a powerful emotional and spiritual awakening. For many women, it’s the moment we begin to question the people pleasing habits that shaped much of our earlier life.
As Kasey Edwards writes in her brilliant book, Goodbye Good Girl, Hello Me, midlife is when we start saying goodbye to the roles and rules that have kept us small and begin saying hello to our real selves.
One of the most empowering tools we can use at this stage? Boundaries.
Why Boundaries Matter at Midlife
Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our time, energy, wellbeing, and sense of self. They’re not about pushing people away; they’re about coming home to yourself.
At midlife, especially during menopause, your needs shift. Your tolerance for nonsense drops. Your patience wears thin. That’s not a flaw. That’s wisdom speaking.
Boundaries help you honour that wisdom. They allow you to say:
‘I no longer have the capacity, nor the desire, to put myself last.’
Letting Go of the ‘Good Girl’
From a young age, women are taught to be nice, helpful, quiet, and compliant. We’re encouraged to keep the peace, avoid conflict, and make others feel comfortable, even when it costs us our own wellbeing.
This is what Kasey Edwards calls the “Good Girl” persona.
The problem? It keeps us disconnected from our truth. We say yes when we mean no. We over give. We burn out. We forget who we are.
Menopause often pulls the curtain back on this conditioning. It invites us, sometimes quite forcefully, to drop the act. To stop performing. To reclaim our real voice.
Boundaries as a Form of Resistance
Right now, women’s rights around the world, particularly in the USA, are under threat. From changes to reproductive freedom to attacks on gender autonomy, we are being reminded that nothing can be taken for granted.
This is not a time to shrink. It is a time to strengthen.
Every boundary you set, every time you say “no” to what doesn’t serve you and “yes” to your power, you are part of a global movement for change. Setting boundaries isn’t just personal, it’s political.
We Must Stop Competing and Start Supporting
One of the most striking insights from Goodbye Good Girl, Hello Me is that women have been taught to feel good about themselves by putting other women down.
We’ve seen it everywhere, from schoolyards to workplaces. Judgment, gossip, comparison. These patterns don’t come from who we truly are, they come from a system that benefits when women are divided.
But this only weakens us. And it won’t get us anywhere.
Instead, let’s champion each other. Let’s have each other’s backs. Let’s celebrate the woman who says no. Let’s support the friend who draws a boundary. Let’s cheer for the sister who finally puts herself first.
This is the only way forward.
Friendship and Boundaries in Menopause
Menopause can feel isolating. Not everyone understands the internal storm you’re riding. This is why surrounding yourself with supportive women, who respect your boundaries and encourage your growth, is so important.
You may find that some relationships fall away. That’s normal. When you stop playing the ‘Good Girl,’ not everyone will like it.
But the ones who stay? They’re your people.
Create space for real, honest, mutual friendships. The kind that say, ‘I see you. I honour your needs. And I’ve got your back.’
This Is Your Time
Boundaries are not selfish… they are sacred.
They are not walls… they are gateways to freedom.
As you move through menopause and into your next chapter, you’re invited to become the most real, unapologetic, and fully expressed version of yourself.
You don’t owe the world the ‘Good Girl.’ You owe yourself the truth.
So set your boundaries. Speak your needs. Honour your limits. And support your sisters to do the same.
Because when women rise together, everyone wins.
Book Time with Gina
Need some help with setting boundaries or making positive changes to improve your life?
Book in a complimentary 45-minute Soulful Connection session with Gina to make midlife a great time to be alive. Here’s the calendar link to book a time that suits you.
References:
- Edwards, Kasey. Goodbye Good Girl, Hello Me: Break Up with Approval and Live the Life You Want. Nero Books, 2023.
- Brown, Brené. The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing, 2010.
- hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. William Morrow Paperbacks, 2001.
- Norfleet, Nicole. “U.S. Supreme Court Decisions and the Ongoing Fight for Women’s Rights.” Star Tribune, 2024.
- Mather, M. “The Future of Menopause: Trends in Women’s Health.” Population Reference Bureau, 2023.
